Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I read it somewhere once

An article I read once that talked about writing, especially via internet mediums like blogs, said that the trick to selling yourself is to write about your obsessions, and to write about them in a compelling manner. So I wondered if I applied that to myself as of late, what my obsessions would be, in terms of the things that I'm constantly thinking about (though not necessarily always engaged in). Here's what I came up with, in no particular order: time, identity, responsibility, faith, women, alcohol, self-improvement, music, school. Going back and reading some of my old blog entries, I think I've spent a lot of my obsession quota on time and identity. So maybe I'll write about school tonight. The rest will come later. I think alcohol, women, faith and responsibility might come as a package deal in a big ranting post one night when I can't hold back the dam anymore.

My culminating exam is tomorrow. I swapped my thesis option with this so I wouldn't have to write up and present a research project in one semester. The capstone exam covers the five basic disciplines of public health and is basically the last hurdle before graduation. After 2 years of research and 1.5 years of coursework in public health, this is what it boils down to. I spent 2008-2011 completely immersed in public health (obsession: time, check.), for better or for worse. Now I'm a month from the finish line, and I barely care about school. If I pass my exam and graduate, that'll be good enough for me. Seems like the degrees you earn feel much less important by the time you earn them. What do you say after the fact? I am biology. I am public health. (obsession: identity, check.) But so what?

I should add that I'm not disillusioned/jaded/cynical/other synonym, i.e. I still believe in the benefits of public health, I still believe in the benefits of research, I still believe in academia. The difference is that I just care less and like sleep more than I used to. Given the option to turn in a stellar paper versus getting 3 extra hours of sleep and turning in something unimpressive...I'll take the sleep. Hell, I'll even take 1 hour. Why? Well because I'm tired, dammit. It's the reason I'm doing this right now instead of studying. Lately, I've kind of just been wishing my monday-thursday nights could be in front of the TV with an unhealthy snack, guilt free.

I've got about a month and a half of free time this summer before my life basically ends. I'm kind of thinking about just using my time to get fat. I've got the rest of my life to get in shape, right?

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